I miss my friend today more than usual.  I miss her sarcastic humor, and her smile that lit up a room.  I miss the way she could heal your pain.  Her pain was too great to be healed but she never let that stop her from doing the the things she wanted to do.  Miss you Cindy, especially today.

The greatest lie: How are you?

I love this question.  I find it amusing since it makes me lie.  Right now, I'm in pain, and on prednisone.  However, whenever I don't feel well, I will answer with the expected answer of "fine."  When I feel good, that question is so much fun for me.  Below are answers that I given or would love to give.  I've separated the two so you can see the challenge of some of them.  Maybe, you want to try it.  You might find the other person smiling or even laughing.

How are you?  I'm going blind, how are you?  Yes, I did say that to my neighbor who felt very uncomfortable talking to me for over a year.  I guess I was too honest.

How are you?   I'm awesome, life couldn't get any better now that I've talked to you

How are you?  I'm really hungry, can you get me some food, and while your at it, stop at Starbucks?

How are you officer (me to the cop)?  Fine says the officerr.  Do you know you where riding the median strip? I say is that what that noise was?  I was worried it was my car.

How are you?  I'm doing really well.  I was just released from the mental hospital and don't have to go back until next week.

How are you?  I am fantabulous.

How are you?  I had a rough day.  Do you want to hear about it?

How are you?  I'm really tired and need a nap.  Can I come over, have dinner and take a nap?

The attack of the killer bees..not really.

I walked my dogs over to my friend's house to use her big fenced in yard. I get into her backyard, and the dogs start running around for a few minutes and then they were ready to go home. In the meantime, I stepped on a bee's nest. These were some really pissed off Yellow Jackets (A/K/A The Bastards) who stung me in and around my right ear, I would rather have a buzz from a few beers than having a loud buzz in my ear. Just so you know, pulling a bee out of your ear is no easy task.   My hair wasn't going to be their surrogate new home either so they stung my scalp, stung me a few more times and attacked my dogs. I fell over Daisy trying to save the dogs from The Bastards. Poor Penny's eye lid is swollen, and Daisy decided to eat the little Bastards. All this caused me to buy children's Benadryl for the dogs. Mental note: Dogs don't like cherry Benedryl liquid. I, on the other hand, after the first 5 shots of Benedryl, it doesn't taste like cherry at all but after the 2nd shot, it didn't matter.    I also don't recommend putting ice in your ear.  You will end up with swimmer's ear.

I felt the love.

Just a thought in my head at this moment:  It's not always about you.  Sometimes, you need to open your heart, listen and ask the questions people are normally afraid of asking. I went for a jog on the treadmill at the health club which ended up being a walk.  I know plenty of people at the club since I've been an employee for almost 7 years, I often talk to the members.  I've learned a lot about their lives.
Yesterday, I noticed "Jack," on the spin bike.  I know his tough story and it is truly heart breaking.  I stopped to see how he was doing, and he was happy that his diabetic damaged foot is finally healing. Its taken months and lots of surgeries.  I asked about his wife and how she was feeling these days.  He was so excited to make a Rolling Stone birthday cake for her birthday on April 1st.  She will be 57 this year, and has dementia.  She was diagnosed a few years ago with early onset dementia and the disease has rapidly progressed.  I told him I was impressed of his strength and this is when he opened up. I just listened and kept asking the questions he wanted me to ask.  They have "baby" proofed the house, she has an obsession with trash, and also has an oral fixation.  She doesn't remember any of her friends but she still is able to go to the gym classes she loved so much but she doesn't follow the instructions but it gives him a chance to be alone.  She occupies her time with children's coloring books and is attached at the hip to Jack when she is not coloring.  She needs to mimic everything he does during the day so he needs to hide his medications and his diabetic needles. He told me he goes through all the emotions and misses his wife terribly. I told him I still believe that he is a strong man and she is very lucky to have him who loves her so much.   I did not say I would pray for him or his family.

Having an autoimmune disease, it has taught me not to be afraid of asking questions.  It has taught me to listen.   Why are people so afraid?  I guess they don't want to get involved.  I wonder why?

That mouse and my smile.

Okay, Mr. Mouse, toy with me.  I'm hard at work, and you decide to walk back and forth above my head on the other side of the drop ceiling.  I hear that tiny laughter of joy knowing that at any minute I'm going to leave my desk, go to lunch or go home for the day.  It seems when I turn up my music, your walk gets faster.  Perhaps you are dancing to the beat or you know when the music stops, you can come down from the ceiling.  

Your days are numbered, Mr. Mouse.  You ate my gluten-free granola and then washed it down with my tea.  You decided to be polite and leave presents in the box so I wouldn't notice all my granola missing.  I'm smarter than that, Mr. Mouse.  Granola does not look black, so HA!

This is a fight to the death.  I will probably lose by falling through the drop ceiling while you mock me.  I might hit my head against the underside of my desk while chasing you, however, I will not quit until I catch  you.  What is my plan after I catch you, you may ask?  As angry as I am, I will shake my finger at you, yell at you, and take you outside where you belong.  All I ask, do not eat my food and do not return to the place you call home.

My life is not Lupus.  Sometimes, I think about things like the above.  Or, the time, I tried to steal a hair pin shaped as a spider but caught in the cotton webbing instead.  My laughter at that moment was so real, that my stomach hurt.  The mouse makes me laugh at work.  Spending time with friends and family makes me smile, and sometimes, spending time alone, writing can make me smile, even laugh at myself.  Who ever thinks about mice, granola, and getting caught up in fake cobwebs.