Half way through the day.

So I'm tired...and this post shows how tired.  My thoughts are not in any order.

I didn't sleep well last night, actually, not at all.  The rain was non-stop and the flashes of lightening was lighting up our bedroom like fire flys on crack.  I tried reading my Kindle but my eyes wouldn't focus and decided to chat on Facebook with some of my friends who also can't sleep.  Maybe we should start an insomniac club, like a book club but on a snail's pace.  Maybe I should join a 24 hour gym and go 12 hours a night.


The real reason I couldn't sleep is I kept thinking and worrying about sleep and how I was going to manage without my Lunesta or Ambien.  I've been trying to kick the habit and it's my first day, again.  No wonder my doctors were hesitate to prescribe these drugs. I'm so darn dependent on these white pills.  I found a Lunesta support group, that can't be good, right?

Maybe I need to produce a timer for my brain. Perhaps my phone has an App but I haven't looked yet.  They do have an App for your blood pressure and an App for Post it notes.  Yes, I love my electronic Post it notes.  I guess it's only a matter of time before we have bar codes so we can be an APP.  Can you tell I haven't slept yet?  My evilish/devilish side is coming out to play.

Part fun and part not so fun.

I've decided to be brutally honest in this posting.  I'm a bit cranky.

I had a great time on Saturday with Hal.  We took a ride to the Philadelphia Zoo and enjoyed some time together.  At times, I was a photographer's widow but that's okay with me.  I can't always keep up with his energy (He is like the Jaguar) and it gives me time to watch the people from a bench.  I love watching people.

My Lupus gave me a hard time this weekend and I am fighting back. Why did this bitch of a disease pick a holiday weekend?  I didn't expect or want the nerve and joint pain.  The brain fog was an unnecessary accessory to Lupus, which is hard to deal with.  It may be worse than the physical pain. 

I cleaned the refrigerator out yesterday, and forgot to put back the large shelve that holds everything.  I went to dinner with Hal, and after I left the lady's room, I couldn't remember where we were sitting.  And this morning, we got into the car, but I couldn't remember where we were going.  I'm grateful that Hal was in the car, otherwise I would of been driving in circles for hours or just gone home defeated.  I've gone upstairs 4 times with the intent of cleaning the bathroom and straightening the office.  Where are those Post it Notes or maybe I will just write on my hand so i can't lose the note.

This Lupus crap will not have me..I will not allow it! 

PS:  If you have time, take a look at the pictures that Hal took from the zoo. 

Better late than never type of posting...of this and that...

I'm proud to say I'm in remission and have been for the past 2 months.  This does not mean not 100% well but is anybody truly 100% well?  I'm not even 100% sane.  That bit of insanity keeps me going, keeps my humor in tact.  I didn't even have any appointments this week :). 


I've started Weight Watchers again.  It might be the 10th time I've started this program but it works when you stick to it and don't fail.  I'm not going to fail since I've lost 35 lbs so far and I'm eating healthy and exercising when my knees allow me.  I won't admit to eating pizza or other stuff that will remain nameless.

Vacation is at the end of November, beginning of December.  I might need a few months off, but I know that won't happen.  I'm headed to an island with a lounge chair and my Kindle.  Did you notice I don't care where I go?  I just want to veg for awhile, and not worry about life in general.  Well, maybe worry about my next meal and what is the special drink of the day.  I could use a cute Cabana boy to provide my drinks also, but I'm not picky and my hubby is going with me :).  I'm not sure he would appreciate the cabana boy joke.  I'm glad Hal is going with me.  He can be my cabana boy anytime.  Hal, I know you are reading this..lol.

Take care :)  Hugs to all who read this.

Negative thoughts

The impact of negative thoughts can harm the soul.  Just recently, I tried to help someone who was down and out.  This woman didn't want to live and apparently didn't care about the people who loved her.  Is this person being selfish?  Didn't care about her children?   She didn't think of her actions effecting other people in a negative way. 

We should continue to laugh, love and be positive. Do positive things that will make you happy.  It doesn't matter what makes you happy as long as it doesn't hurt anyone or anything else in the process. 

I'm having a party on August 12th to educate all on Lupus.  I'm calling it a party since I will have cake and everybody loves cake.

No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change.

- Barbara de Angelis

Learning to laugh.

Things for me are getting better.  The damage from Lupus has stopped and hopefully will never return. 

I've learned the power of laughter.  It has the best healing and probably the cheapest cure.

Colin Stokol, M.D., a neurologist and psychiatrist at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, is a big fan of humor. “First, there is a feeling of belonging to a community when a patient finds humor with others,” he notes. “Second, there is a physical benefit to the action of deep laughter. When you laugh, you exercise your respiratory muscles, spine, upper body and face. And finally, there is a belief among medical professionals that laughter prompts the body to release endorphins, which are hormones that bring about a sense of well-being.”
Different people find different ways of getting those endorphins going, from playing practical jokes to watching an old “Three Stooges” episode. Wes Daniel of Midwest City, Okla., was diagnosed with lupus in 1991. When he was in the hospital receiving chemotherapy, a good chuckle was his front-line defense against the disease.  Lupus Foundation

My way of laughter is the practical jokester.  I love kidding around, and making bad puns. Life is so much easier when you laugh and laugh at yourself.   The Three Stoogies is okay, but give me a Mel Brooks movie, and I can watch it over and over again.  I will laugh my head off even though I know what is coming next.

My benefit is August 12th.  I want all my friends to have a good time..eat some cake...learn about Lupus and maybe make a donation.