Biggest Winner

On Monday, my co-workers and I are going to start The Biggest Loser contest.  I'm so competitive,  I need to win.  I hope my Lupus doesn't get in the way of my crazy schedule I have planned for exercise and eating.


I've had a cold for almost 2 weeks.  I was told for people with Lupus, it takes an extra 10 days to get rid of a cold.  Thanks!  I'm not allowed to take any additional drugs for my cold according to my doctor.  So, I've been taking lots of vitamin C, and hoping this helps.  I need to get rid of this damn thing now!

I'm looking forward to giving blood for the first time in years.  I know that sounds strange but it is so normal.  I like normal.  I hope they don't send me away.  That would be painful for me emotionally.  I'm so used to needles that giving blood is not a big deal and I would love to help someone else.

Power

I look for strength in others to show me the strength in me.  I don't always have the energy to look within myself for this power.  I don't think its possible to always have this strength.

I hear the power of prayer is a strong way to find strength within.  I find it comforting and healing.  I looked up the definition of prayer and was a bit surprised.  It defines the prayer as always to G-d. Definition of Prayer: is an address to G-d or a G-d in word or thought.  I guess I'm more religious than I thought.  Maybe, religion is something I should learn and give it some thought. 

So what doesn't mix?  Deb + tennis ball + stairs = watch out world!  I was doing some chores going up and down the stairs.  Daisy thought it was playtime, and decided to bring me the tennis ball at the base of the steps.  I stepped on the tennis ball, and thump!  I was down for the count...and Daisy was no where to be found.  If she could talk, she would be laughing. 

Daisy and the tennis ball stopped me from doing my workout.  My knee, my ankle, my foot, and arm are bruised.  I'll figure out something else to do tonight.  I have to finish sorting my jewelry, making the bed, put away the laundry.  I'm sure I'm missing something on my list.  I was looking forward to my first Pilates class.  Bummed.

Half way through the day.

So I'm tired...and this post shows how tired.  My thoughts are not in any order.

I didn't sleep well last night, actually, not at all.  The rain was non-stop and the flashes of lightening was lighting up our bedroom like fire flys on crack.  I tried reading my Kindle but my eyes wouldn't focus and decided to chat on Facebook with some of my friends who also can't sleep.  Maybe we should start an insomniac club, like a book club but on a snail's pace.  Maybe I should join a 24 hour gym and go 12 hours a night.


The real reason I couldn't sleep is I kept thinking and worrying about sleep and how I was going to manage without my Lunesta or Ambien.  I've been trying to kick the habit and it's my first day, again.  No wonder my doctors were hesitate to prescribe these drugs. I'm so darn dependent on these white pills.  I found a Lunesta support group, that can't be good, right?

Maybe I need to produce a timer for my brain. Perhaps my phone has an App but I haven't looked yet.  They do have an App for your blood pressure and an App for Post it notes.  Yes, I love my electronic Post it notes.  I guess it's only a matter of time before we have bar codes so we can be an APP.  Can you tell I haven't slept yet?  My evilish/devilish side is coming out to play.

Part fun and part not so fun.

I've decided to be brutally honest in this posting.  I'm a bit cranky.

I had a great time on Saturday with Hal.  We took a ride to the Philadelphia Zoo and enjoyed some time together.  At times, I was a photographer's widow but that's okay with me.  I can't always keep up with his energy (He is like the Jaguar) and it gives me time to watch the people from a bench.  I love watching people.

My Lupus gave me a hard time this weekend and I am fighting back. Why did this bitch of a disease pick a holiday weekend?  I didn't expect or want the nerve and joint pain.  The brain fog was an unnecessary accessory to Lupus, which is hard to deal with.  It may be worse than the physical pain. 

I cleaned the refrigerator out yesterday, and forgot to put back the large shelve that holds everything.  I went to dinner with Hal, and after I left the lady's room, I couldn't remember where we were sitting.  And this morning, we got into the car, but I couldn't remember where we were going.  I'm grateful that Hal was in the car, otherwise I would of been driving in circles for hours or just gone home defeated.  I've gone upstairs 4 times with the intent of cleaning the bathroom and straightening the office.  Where are those Post it Notes or maybe I will just write on my hand so i can't lose the note.

This Lupus crap will not have me..I will not allow it! 

PS:  If you have time, take a look at the pictures that Hal took from the zoo.